It started already! Had I not gone to the mall today I would have missed it! Sometimes it's just these simple joys that can bring a girl so much happiness............
Anyways, enough about underwear....... Today I met with the tranplant doctor and I also had like a 2 hour meeting with my transplant coordinator. It was a little..... I don't even know how to describe it. I guess I can't believe I'm actually gonna do it. And the more appointments I go to, the more I talk about it, the less out-of-the-ordinary it seems. I guess it's a good thing, makes it less scary. This is what my normal is now........
July will be a busy month. They want to make sure that every organ in my body is working properly so I'm taking lots of tests: chest x-ray, EKG, MUGA, pulmonary function test, another bone marrow biopsy (I had one back when I first started treatment), tests for my liver, blood work, and another CT and PET scan. I have the last round of salvage chemo and then prep for the transplant begins! It's not going to be at the hospital I always go to (Bellflower) but at a cancer center called City of Hope, which is about 30-45 minutes north from where I live. It has a great reputation and apparently lots of transplants happen there so I know I'm in good hands.
So I was thinking about my friends today. I was thinking about my friends crossing those adult milestones. Getting married, buying a house, having kids, having a "real" job in a chosen career. How do they do it? And they make it look so easy. Other than cancer, what do I got? It's funny because everything that I wanted to change about my life before is working to my advantage now that I have cancer. Thank goodness I live with my parents and don't have to pay rent somewhere, I don't drive so I don't have car or insurance payments, I've been at my job long enough to be able to go on leave and still keep my health benefits, I don't have kids who would be affected, or a husband who's stressed out. Living at home, not having a car, staying at my not-great job, and not having kids or a husband has been great for my sanity now. Some might even say I'm lucky...... I don't have to worry about these things, all I have to worry about is fighting cancer. I can't be bothered with these things while I'm fighting cancer you know.
I don't know why but I have to stop myself from laughing. Can you imagine, it may not matter what I accomplish or don't accomplish someday, as long as I beat cancer now, that can be the biggest success of my life. Beating cancer trumps all! Lol.......... it's too funny........ Ok stop, I thinks it's only funny to me........
Anyways, thank God for cancer for putting things in perspective........
Ok, seriously, after I'm done beating cancer, I'm going to have to do something big. I don't know what it is yet, but somethings going to have to happen. Maybe I should take a big trip somewhere, like Fiji or Greece. Something to make me feel alive and grateful to be on this planet............
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