Friday, November 30, 2007
Save Me From Myself
I will no longer dance like a fool, or at least not for a very long time.
So a month ago I woke up and no one was home so I turned on the radio in the living room and heard songs that I really like so I started dancing. Since I was alone I danced crazy, the kind of way I would never dance in public, only alone when no one is looking, pretty much I danced like a fool. But I only did it for like 30 minutes. So Tuesday I woke up and again, no one was home. So I thought, hmmm, I should do some exercise, I never do any activity. So I turned on the radio again but no songs I liked were playing and then I thought, duh, I could connect my ipod to the speakers!
So that's what I did and for 2 hours I danced like a fool to all my favorite house and dance songs. Of course I would take breaks and sit down but then I'd get back up and keep going. It never occurred to me that I might be overdoing it, like some people do their first day at the gym. So the next day I woke up and when I tried to get out of bed........ I screamed from the pain in my calves. I've been limping around for the last 3 days. Like hunched over, legs spread out, limping slowly. I feel like the hunchback of Notre Dame, except he moved quickly. What's worse is that if I move around I get used to it so it doesn't hurt as much, but every time I sit down or lay down, it is torture trying to get back up. My shoulders and back hurt too but my calves are so much worse that I don't notice the upper body soreness as much. Can you believe that? I am so sore! And 3 days later it's only slightly better. I'm still limping.
It rained today. It feels like such a gloomy day. December starts tomorrow. I'm getting excited. December is the month of my birthday, Christmas, and New Year's eve. And then it's a brand new year. New beginnings.
On Monday I'll see my doctor and get the results of the CT scan. Talk about nerve wracking huh? Positive thoughts.
Well gotta go for now.
So a month ago I woke up and no one was home so I turned on the radio in the living room and heard songs that I really like so I started dancing. Since I was alone I danced crazy, the kind of way I would never dance in public, only alone when no one is looking, pretty much I danced like a fool. But I only did it for like 30 minutes. So Tuesday I woke up and again, no one was home. So I thought, hmmm, I should do some exercise, I never do any activity. So I turned on the radio again but no songs I liked were playing and then I thought, duh, I could connect my ipod to the speakers!
So that's what I did and for 2 hours I danced like a fool to all my favorite house and dance songs. Of course I would take breaks and sit down but then I'd get back up and keep going. It never occurred to me that I might be overdoing it, like some people do their first day at the gym. So the next day I woke up and when I tried to get out of bed........ I screamed from the pain in my calves. I've been limping around for the last 3 days. Like hunched over, legs spread out, limping slowly. I feel like the hunchback of Notre Dame, except he moved quickly. What's worse is that if I move around I get used to it so it doesn't hurt as much, but every time I sit down or lay down, it is torture trying to get back up. My shoulders and back hurt too but my calves are so much worse that I don't notice the upper body soreness as much. Can you believe that? I am so sore! And 3 days later it's only slightly better. I'm still limping.
It rained today. It feels like such a gloomy day. December starts tomorrow. I'm getting excited. December is the month of my birthday, Christmas, and New Year's eve. And then it's a brand new year. New beginnings.
On Monday I'll see my doctor and get the results of the CT scan. Talk about nerve wracking huh? Positive thoughts.
Well gotta go for now.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Going to Bed NOW
I'm writing this late only because I'm waiting for the damn Phantom of the Opera album to finish downloading on my iTunes. The fact that my Internet connection keeps messing up is not hurrying it along either.
Anyways, today I went to go see Corteo from Cirque du Soleil. Of course I loved it! It's really like a sophisticated circus act, without real animals. There were clowns, music, trapeze acts, juggling, contortionists, and fake horses. It was really really cool. I almost want to go again, but with cheaper seats. This time I kinda splurged because I wanted good seats and they were, Erasto and I were part of the audience that got picked on by the opening act of clowns. But the less expensive seats weren't that much farther away because it was in a small venue. I'll see maybe if I can get tickets when my sister comes home so she, Diego, and I can go. Depends on when my sister comes home and ticket availability. Anyways, I bought 2 plastic masks and I love them too, lol! I gave Diego one. I think I'm in love with Cirque du Soleil, lol!
I'd like to clarify a comment I made in my last post. I realized how I could have been offensive by saying that my dad was acting like a "crazy Jehovah's Witness." I am not saying JWs are crazy, only that as someone who was raised Catholic and in the Catholic way of praising the Lord, I was surprised by my dad's uncharacteristic emotional exaltations. My mom related that JWs sometimes express their deep faith in that manner. So I just assumed he must have adopted JW ways for Thanksgiving. But I must remember that just because JWs praise differently doesn't mean they are crazy. I'm just glad I'm Catholic (uh, or as my friend Marty said, "a supermarket Catholic," I pick up what I like). Lol, am I going to get hate mail for this? It's not what Jesus would do, I tell you that much. Or maybe I'll end up going to hell. Wait a minute, I can't! I received the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick while I was in the hospital so my holy glow should still be pretty..... holy (as in saved from the fires of eternal damnation)! Ha! Lol, ok no more religion talk.
I want to put more pictures in my blog but I realized not having a digital camera is really making this goal more difficult than it should be. My birthday is December 13th and I've started dropping hints around Clay about how much I would LOVE a digital camera. Hopefully he'll pick up my subtle clues (i.e. "I want a digital camera, fool. And it better be cute too."). Then you guys can see pictures of the things I do and the places I go! How exciting! I'll have to go back to City of Hope just to take pictures of places like the hospital and the Japanese Garden. I also want these memories for myself. I used to shy away from taking pictures with my bald head or of me in the hospital but my sister made me realize (during the summer) that I might want pictures of this time later, and she was right. So hopefully sometime soon pictures will become a regular feature of my blog.
I had a really interesting conversation with Clay yesterday regarding my view of natural population control. I'd like to get into it now but it's just too late. I think people will be surprised by my stance. Anyways, tomorrow, I promise.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Why Did I Take Pictures With My Glasses On?
I hope everyone is still eating turkey sandwiches with stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy. :)
I've had an eventful couple of days. On Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, our neighbor's pitt bull somehow got into our backyard and started fighting with our pitt bulls, Jada and Snub. Only my dad, Diego, and I were home at the time and my dad started freaking out. I mean he almost got hysterical on us. He apparently was bitten by a dog once and is now traumatized. He didn't want to do anything but Diego and I could not just sit there and wait until one of them was killed. To make a long story short, my dad eventually went outside to get the hose and gave it to Diego, who had climbed up on the roof, and from there Diego was able to get the dogs to separate by spraying water on them. But honestly, the neighbor's dog was much bigger than ours so it held it's own up until Diego sprayed them, by which point they were all tired from fighting. It would have been funny had we not known that they really wanted to kill each other but couldn't. Our backyard is shaped like an L and our dogs went into the longer part and the other dog stayed at the farthest corner of the shorter part. It was really sad actually! Jada is a little monster so she was generally ok, just tired. Snub is the sweet gentle one (I know it's hard to believe when you look at him but he is) but he was hurt, the other dog cut his lower mouth area. He straight up threw himself on the ground, he was really tired. And then the next day he looked so sad! I think his lower jaw hurt so he was listless and not very energetic. Anyways, we all patted ourselves on the back for being able to stop a pitt bull dogfight (it was really Diego, I just backed him up against my dad). Eduardo came home and took our dogs to another part of the yard that is separated from the L part. The owner of the dog eventually came and picked up his pitt bull, who had a badly mangled ear. At first I was mad at all the dogs for fighting but really, what was to be expected? A strange dog gets into our yard, which is very well fenced up so there is no way to exit (the dog apparently climbed it's side of the fence and hopped over), and what did we think the dogs were going to do? Ignore each other? I firmly believe that the other dog was the aggressor and our dogs were protecting themselves and their territory. My brothers walk them all the time and expose them to other people and animals and they respond well to both, only reacting badly when another dog is more aggressive. I hated seeing the dogs act like the animals that I know they are but I'm happy none of them was badly hurt and hopefully it won't happen again.
The next day, Clay came over for Thanksgiving and I'm happy that he was able to witness the antics of my family firsthand so that he knows I don't exaggerate when I tell certain stories about them. Let's just say it was among the best Thanksgivings I've ever had, even with my brothers arguing about who can bench press more and my dad acting like a crazy Jehovah's Witness. Maybe next year he'll speak in tongues.
Today, Saturday, Clay and I went to the movies and watched Into the Wild. Clay only likes going to this one particular theatre in Hollywood, the Arclight, and for some reason they weren't playing American Gangster, which was our first choice. So the movie wasn't bad, unfortunately I'm only on ch. 2 of the book so now I'll be reading it with the movie's vision in mind.
Tomorrow I'm going to see Cirque du Soleil! How fun!
So here's my first picture posting. It's Clay and I in San Francisco before the game. I'd given him $200 worth of lottery scratcher tickets (amongst other things) for his birthday so that's what he's holding in his hand, that and a bottle of liquor, lol.
I've had an eventful couple of days. On Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, our neighbor's pitt bull somehow got into our backyard and started fighting with our pitt bulls, Jada and Snub. Only my dad, Diego, and I were home at the time and my dad started freaking out. I mean he almost got hysterical on us. He apparently was bitten by a dog once and is now traumatized. He didn't want to do anything but Diego and I could not just sit there and wait until one of them was killed. To make a long story short, my dad eventually went outside to get the hose and gave it to Diego, who had climbed up on the roof, and from there Diego was able to get the dogs to separate by spraying water on them. But honestly, the neighbor's dog was much bigger than ours so it held it's own up until Diego sprayed them, by which point they were all tired from fighting. It would have been funny had we not known that they really wanted to kill each other but couldn't. Our backyard is shaped like an L and our dogs went into the longer part and the other dog stayed at the farthest corner of the shorter part. It was really sad actually! Jada is a little monster so she was generally ok, just tired. Snub is the sweet gentle one (I know it's hard to believe when you look at him but he is) but he was hurt, the other dog cut his lower mouth area. He straight up threw himself on the ground, he was really tired. And then the next day he looked so sad! I think his lower jaw hurt so he was listless and not very energetic. Anyways, we all patted ourselves on the back for being able to stop a pitt bull dogfight (it was really Diego, I just backed him up against my dad). Eduardo came home and took our dogs to another part of the yard that is separated from the L part. The owner of the dog eventually came and picked up his pitt bull, who had a badly mangled ear. At first I was mad at all the dogs for fighting but really, what was to be expected? A strange dog gets into our yard, which is very well fenced up so there is no way to exit (the dog apparently climbed it's side of the fence and hopped over), and what did we think the dogs were going to do? Ignore each other? I firmly believe that the other dog was the aggressor and our dogs were protecting themselves and their territory. My brothers walk them all the time and expose them to other people and animals and they respond well to both, only reacting badly when another dog is more aggressive. I hated seeing the dogs act like the animals that I know they are but I'm happy none of them was badly hurt and hopefully it won't happen again.
The next day, Clay came over for Thanksgiving and I'm happy that he was able to witness the antics of my family firsthand so that he knows I don't exaggerate when I tell certain stories about them. Let's just say it was among the best Thanksgivings I've ever had, even with my brothers arguing about who can bench press more and my dad acting like a crazy Jehovah's Witness. Maybe next year he'll speak in tongues.
Today, Saturday, Clay and I went to the movies and watched Into the Wild. Clay only likes going to this one particular theatre in Hollywood, the Arclight, and for some reason they weren't playing American Gangster, which was our first choice. So the movie wasn't bad, unfortunately I'm only on ch. 2 of the book so now I'll be reading it with the movie's vision in mind.
Tomorrow I'm going to see Cirque du Soleil! How fun!
So here's my first picture posting. It's Clay and I in San Francisco before the game. I'd given him $200 worth of lottery scratcher tickets (amongst other things) for his birthday so that's what he's holding in his hand, that and a bottle of liquor, lol.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
I Never Want to Climb Mt. Everest
So today I was watching Oprah and it was Her Favorite Things episode. I've never seen it before but the audience went WILD when it was announced. And I mean WILD. People were jumping, screaming, and crying. I was seriously shocked to see so many women (of all ethnicities, and even some men) going crazy, literally CRAZY. I saw women who looked just like....... I guess you had to have seen it. It was nuts. Apparently Oprah talks about her favorite gifts for the holidays and then gives out one of each to every audience member. It was quite a number of things and afterwards I found out the total value was like $8,000. There was a lot of pretty cool stuff: expensive soaps, body creams, gourmet sorbets, a fridge, a camcorder, books, Ugg boots, a Kitchen Aide mixer, a panini press, lots of DVDs, clothes, just all kinds of stuff. It makes a trip to Chicago just to see Oprah worthwhile. Anyways, what shocked me was just how crazy the audience got when the title of the show was announced. It was kept a secret until that day I guess. But then again, I would have gone crazy too with all that stuff she gave away. Hello, a fridge!
It's like, some people go crazy over Oprah and then other people don't like her. I figured, she gives aways lots of gifts, that's good enough for me!
Sorry, I really had to mention it, I really was shocked, lol.
Anyways, yesterday I had my CT scan! I was so nervous I couldn't sleep the night before and then literally had to drag myself out of bed in the morning. This time I put my foot down and refused the barium (makes me....... you don't want to know) but they gave me some other stuff which wasn't that bad. The barium is a liquid suspension they make you drink an hour before and it helps to highlight the stomach area in a CT scan. Necessary but totally gross. But the new stuff they gave me wasn't so bad and the scan went well. I'll get the results when I meet with my doctor Dec. 3rd. I've decided to try really hard not to stress about it. It just doesn't help and I'm not throwing myself anymore pity parties. So............. I guess we'll see Dec. 3rd! Oh and I have soft fuzz growing back in on my head! It's light but it's something.
However, one tiny tragedy. I lost some small gold hoop earrings that an aunt of mine gave me over 4 years ago. I wore them all the time but I had to take them off for the scan and I tossed them in the plastic bag they gave me for my belongings. When the scan was over, I took my stuff out of the plastic bag but I forgot about the earrings in my rush to just get out of there and then threw the bag in a trash bin. I didn't realize they were missing until late at night when I touched my ear for some reason and realized I wasn't wearing them. I was pissed at myself. Of course it has nothing to do with value, it's that my aunt gave them to me so I almost never took them off. But I always do this. I just seem to lose things really easily, whether it's my own stuff or a gift someone gave me. It's not like I do it on purpose but I've been told that my carelessness comes off as not caring or valuing someone's gift. It makes me feel bad because I can't help it but I realize how the other person might view it. I've lost so many meaningful things over the years and it's not that I don't value the gift, the majority of the time it's something that I value so much, I use it all the time (like my earrings). It's like, I carry it everywhere safely and then one time, one time, I take it off or put it down and poof! Gone. Seriously, I've been told more than once, "Is that how you treat gifts people give you?" I just always lose it, drop it, break it, forget it..... something. But I do it to stuff I bought myself too! I just have to be more careful. It just sucks, I really liked those earrings.
On Sunday I'm going to go watch Cirque du Soleil with my friend Erasto. I'm super excited because we got really good seats and I've always wanted to see one of their shows. This one is called Corteo and I read the description for it online but it was kinda weird so I'll describe it after I've seen the show.
My friend Marty mentioned in his blog something that I had thought about a couple of months ago but never wrote about: how different life is now with cell phones. About 6 months ago I convinced my dad to get my brother Diego (when he was 13) a cell phone because I felt that he needed it for emergencies. Although he has a nasty habit of leaving it off after getting out of school, it feels good knowing that we can reach him after he gets out of school. Granted he's older and in high school now but I think even younger kids need cell phones nowadays. But when I was growing up, I couldn't even convince my parents to get me a beeper (according to them, only doctors and drug dealers carried beepers). My parents controlled our phone conversations by only having one landline in the house (not wireless), by keeping it in the kitchen, and by not having call waiting so that when my mom tried to call for 2 hours and kept getting a busy signal, she could come home to scream at someone (usually me) for being on the phone for 2 hours. I didn't get a cell phone until I was 21 (and a half) years old. I lived before it but now I can't imagine my life without it. Seriously, how did I ever meet up with people? How did I ever make plans? What if I had to cancel at the last minute? Did I really do all that through a landline only? It seems almost unbelievable to me. Maybe the reason I was always late before was because no one was calling me on my cell phone to tell me to hurry my ass up! I had the luxury of taking my time without anyone calling me constantly like they do now if I'm even 5 minutes late. My cell phone made me punctual, lol! Anyways, it does make me feel like a grandma on the rocking chair. Remembering a time before cell phones, wireless phones, Call Waiting, Caller ID, 3 Way Calling...........
And while we're on the subject, I also remember a time before CDs, when we would want to kill our stereos for eating our cassette tapes. And look at that, even CDs are going down now because of MP3 players. I remember our first Nintendo system, when all it had was Super Mario Bros., Duck Hunt, and that Olympics game. It came with the gun and the mat. A time before computers, now that's wild! How did we live! Even halfway through high school, only the most important essays had to be typed, most were just handwritten, 5-8 pages of handwritten work. And my handwriting was so bad, I would write it out once, and then write up a final draft carefully, in my best handwriting. By the time I got to college of course that had changed. We still have the first Encyclopedia set my dad bought from a traveling salesmen. Now I just look things up on Wikipedia.
It's crazy how fast technology has advanced just in our short lifetimes. Can you imagine what it'll be like when we're 50 or 80? Once, Diego and I mapped out a hypothetical person's life, like, what did this person live through in their lifetime. We said, ok, if this person is 85 years old right now in 2007, that means they were born in 1922. Assuming they lived in the US, they would have lived through the Great Depression, WWII, desegregation, the Vietnam war, the Cold War, the moon landing, the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Gulf War, the Internet, and now the war in Iraq. They also would have lived through Elvis, the Beatles, disco, Madonna, Micheal Jackson, U2, the Spice Girls, etc. This person saw the change in clothing, cars, music, architecture, interior design, movie making, communication, social norms, everything. How different was the world when this hypothetical person was born and look at all the changes (plus everything I forgot to mention) this person has witnessed. Isn't that crazy?
I love making to do lists because it's the only way I remember everything I need to do and I also love being able to cross things off my list. I made a to do list a few days ago and I'm happy to say that almost everything got crossed off. The only things that didn't were the things that involved me calling someone. Hopefully those will be crossed off tomorrow.
So I just finished reading this book called Into Thin Air. It was about a guy, Jon Krakauer, who climbed Mt. Everest in 1996, the year of one of the deadliest climbing seasons there. It was a great book, pretty crazy. He talks about the extremely debilitating effects of the cold and the high altitude. I was amazed that so many people still make the climb considering all the very real risks. It amazes me that any of those climbers make it not just to the top, but also back down alive as well. So many people died that season (12 I think) and the author talks about how those deaths have haunted him, how if things had been different, there wouldn't have been so many casualties. This made me wonder about how complicated our view of death is.
Back in the old olden days (Medieval times), death was an accepted part of life. In fact, it had a very real presence in the lives of people back then. There was the plague, wars (fought with more human contact), high infant mortality rates, shorter lifespans, and then the fact that animals were killed daily for food (not like it's censored version in the grocery store). Death was everywhere. Nowadays, even though the news tells you that we have become desensitized to violence, I think that is definitely not the case. Over the centuries we've created shields that have hidden death and violence from our sight, more so especially in developed countries. Go to underdeveloped countries now where death and violence have a constant presence in everyday life. Those of us who are lucky to live in developed countries have been spared that. But then when death and violence does enter our lives, we are surprised, shocked, outraged, or traumatized. But it's not unusual, abnormal, or out of the ordinary. We just never think it'll happen to us.
Anyways, yeah, Jon Krakauer, loved your book! I started another one he wrote called Into the Wild but this one is not based on his experience. It's based on this guy Chris McCandless who ends up dying of starvation in Alaska. They made a movie with the same name that isn't out on DVD yet.
On another note, I just saw Paris Je T'aime and I loved it! It's a collection of short films about love in Paris. They took I think 20 directors and had them make short films no longer than 5 minutes. Some were so so but the majority were really good for only being 5 minutes long. I would definitely recommend it. Plus it's just a lot of short films so you can start and stop without worrying about losing the plot line.
Well, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Clay is coming over for Thanksgiving at our house this year, I wonder what he'll think of our Nicaraguan turkey day? I hope he doesn't expect cranberry sauce or candied yams. We like our turkey with Mexican rice and a salad. Sometimes we have mashed potatoes, sometimes we don't. I'm looking forward to it.
It's like, some people go crazy over Oprah and then other people don't like her. I figured, she gives aways lots of gifts, that's good enough for me!
Sorry, I really had to mention it, I really was shocked, lol.
Anyways, yesterday I had my CT scan! I was so nervous I couldn't sleep the night before and then literally had to drag myself out of bed in the morning. This time I put my foot down and refused the barium (makes me....... you don't want to know) but they gave me some other stuff which wasn't that bad. The barium is a liquid suspension they make you drink an hour before and it helps to highlight the stomach area in a CT scan. Necessary but totally gross. But the new stuff they gave me wasn't so bad and the scan went well. I'll get the results when I meet with my doctor Dec. 3rd. I've decided to try really hard not to stress about it. It just doesn't help and I'm not throwing myself anymore pity parties. So............. I guess we'll see Dec. 3rd! Oh and I have soft fuzz growing back in on my head! It's light but it's something.
However, one tiny tragedy. I lost some small gold hoop earrings that an aunt of mine gave me over 4 years ago. I wore them all the time but I had to take them off for the scan and I tossed them in the plastic bag they gave me for my belongings. When the scan was over, I took my stuff out of the plastic bag but I forgot about the earrings in my rush to just get out of there and then threw the bag in a trash bin. I didn't realize they were missing until late at night when I touched my ear for some reason and realized I wasn't wearing them. I was pissed at myself. Of course it has nothing to do with value, it's that my aunt gave them to me so I almost never took them off. But I always do this. I just seem to lose things really easily, whether it's my own stuff or a gift someone gave me. It's not like I do it on purpose but I've been told that my carelessness comes off as not caring or valuing someone's gift. It makes me feel bad because I can't help it but I realize how the other person might view it. I've lost so many meaningful things over the years and it's not that I don't value the gift, the majority of the time it's something that I value so much, I use it all the time (like my earrings). It's like, I carry it everywhere safely and then one time, one time, I take it off or put it down and poof! Gone. Seriously, I've been told more than once, "Is that how you treat gifts people give you?" I just always lose it, drop it, break it, forget it..... something. But I do it to stuff I bought myself too! I just have to be more careful. It just sucks, I really liked those earrings.
On Sunday I'm going to go watch Cirque du Soleil with my friend Erasto. I'm super excited because we got really good seats and I've always wanted to see one of their shows. This one is called Corteo and I read the description for it online but it was kinda weird so I'll describe it after I've seen the show.
My friend Marty mentioned in his blog something that I had thought about a couple of months ago but never wrote about: how different life is now with cell phones. About 6 months ago I convinced my dad to get my brother Diego (when he was 13) a cell phone because I felt that he needed it for emergencies. Although he has a nasty habit of leaving it off after getting out of school, it feels good knowing that we can reach him after he gets out of school. Granted he's older and in high school now but I think even younger kids need cell phones nowadays. But when I was growing up, I couldn't even convince my parents to get me a beeper (according to them, only doctors and drug dealers carried beepers). My parents controlled our phone conversations by only having one landline in the house (not wireless), by keeping it in the kitchen, and by not having call waiting so that when my mom tried to call for 2 hours and kept getting a busy signal, she could come home to scream at someone (usually me) for being on the phone for 2 hours. I didn't get a cell phone until I was 21 (and a half) years old. I lived before it but now I can't imagine my life without it. Seriously, how did I ever meet up with people? How did I ever make plans? What if I had to cancel at the last minute? Did I really do all that through a landline only? It seems almost unbelievable to me. Maybe the reason I was always late before was because no one was calling me on my cell phone to tell me to hurry my ass up! I had the luxury of taking my time without anyone calling me constantly like they do now if I'm even 5 minutes late. My cell phone made me punctual, lol! Anyways, it does make me feel like a grandma on the rocking chair. Remembering a time before cell phones, wireless phones, Call Waiting, Caller ID, 3 Way Calling...........
And while we're on the subject, I also remember a time before CDs, when we would want to kill our stereos for eating our cassette tapes. And look at that, even CDs are going down now because of MP3 players. I remember our first Nintendo system, when all it had was Super Mario Bros., Duck Hunt, and that Olympics game. It came with the gun and the mat. A time before computers, now that's wild! How did we live! Even halfway through high school, only the most important essays had to be typed, most were just handwritten, 5-8 pages of handwritten work. And my handwriting was so bad, I would write it out once, and then write up a final draft carefully, in my best handwriting. By the time I got to college of course that had changed. We still have the first Encyclopedia set my dad bought from a traveling salesmen. Now I just look things up on Wikipedia.
It's crazy how fast technology has advanced just in our short lifetimes. Can you imagine what it'll be like when we're 50 or 80? Once, Diego and I mapped out a hypothetical person's life, like, what did this person live through in their lifetime. We said, ok, if this person is 85 years old right now in 2007, that means they were born in 1922. Assuming they lived in the US, they would have lived through the Great Depression, WWII, desegregation, the Vietnam war, the Cold War, the moon landing, the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Gulf War, the Internet, and now the war in Iraq. They also would have lived through Elvis, the Beatles, disco, Madonna, Micheal Jackson, U2, the Spice Girls, etc. This person saw the change in clothing, cars, music, architecture, interior design, movie making, communication, social norms, everything. How different was the world when this hypothetical person was born and look at all the changes (plus everything I forgot to mention) this person has witnessed. Isn't that crazy?
I love making to do lists because it's the only way I remember everything I need to do and I also love being able to cross things off my list. I made a to do list a few days ago and I'm happy to say that almost everything got crossed off. The only things that didn't were the things that involved me calling someone. Hopefully those will be crossed off tomorrow.
So I just finished reading this book called Into Thin Air. It was about a guy, Jon Krakauer, who climbed Mt. Everest in 1996, the year of one of the deadliest climbing seasons there. It was a great book, pretty crazy. He talks about the extremely debilitating effects of the cold and the high altitude. I was amazed that so many people still make the climb considering all the very real risks. It amazes me that any of those climbers make it not just to the top, but also back down alive as well. So many people died that season (12 I think) and the author talks about how those deaths have haunted him, how if things had been different, there wouldn't have been so many casualties. This made me wonder about how complicated our view of death is.
Back in the old olden days (Medieval times), death was an accepted part of life. In fact, it had a very real presence in the lives of people back then. There was the plague, wars (fought with more human contact), high infant mortality rates, shorter lifespans, and then the fact that animals were killed daily for food (not like it's censored version in the grocery store). Death was everywhere. Nowadays, even though the news tells you that we have become desensitized to violence, I think that is definitely not the case. Over the centuries we've created shields that have hidden death and violence from our sight, more so especially in developed countries. Go to underdeveloped countries now where death and violence have a constant presence in everyday life. Those of us who are lucky to live in developed countries have been spared that. But then when death and violence does enter our lives, we are surprised, shocked, outraged, or traumatized. But it's not unusual, abnormal, or out of the ordinary. We just never think it'll happen to us.
Anyways, yeah, Jon Krakauer, loved your book! I started another one he wrote called Into the Wild but this one is not based on his experience. It's based on this guy Chris McCandless who ends up dying of starvation in Alaska. They made a movie with the same name that isn't out on DVD yet.
On another note, I just saw Paris Je T'aime and I loved it! It's a collection of short films about love in Paris. They took I think 20 directors and had them make short films no longer than 5 minutes. Some were so so but the majority were really good for only being 5 minutes long. I would definitely recommend it. Plus it's just a lot of short films so you can start and stop without worrying about losing the plot line.
Well, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Clay is coming over for Thanksgiving at our house this year, I wonder what he'll think of our Nicaraguan turkey day? I hope he doesn't expect cranberry sauce or candied yams. We like our turkey with Mexican rice and a salad. Sometimes we have mashed potatoes, sometimes we don't. I'm looking forward to it.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Mission: Reclaim Life
I've been thinking of a way to start this entry and lacking a better intro, I figured this was best:
"What patients want to hear is that the transplant will be a quick, painless, risk-free procedure. More importantly, they want assurance that it will cure their disease and provide them with many extra years of life. Unfortunately, no such assurances can be given. The patient can only be promised the chance of a future." - Autologous Stem Cell Transplants: A Handbook for Patients
So yesterday I received the results of my PET scan. It showed extreme improvement in all areas but there still appeared to be some activity in my chest. My regular doctor is out of town so another doctor gave me the results and he told me that maybe low dose radiation would be the next possible treatment. But he said it was something that would need to be discussed with my regular doctor. So....... I was........ I felt let down because I did want to be told, hey you're cured. But my mom and my dad seem oddly calm. It makes me wonder if they really aren't that worried or if they know that I'm on the brink of a meltdown so they're staying mellow for my sake. This doctor told me that they still needed the results of a CT scan I'm having done next Monday and he said that they actually relied more on those results than the PET. Apparently sometimes the PET shows activity that is unrelated to the cancer. So maybe there is still hope..............
I am being negative with the results, I just want to make that clear. Clay, my mom, and my dad seem optimistic. I think they think that if low dose radiation is all I need, then it's pretty much almost gone. I don't know why I'm not happy or at least glad that things are much better. I guess I just wanted to think it was over.
My next appointment will be after Thanksgiving with my regular doctor. The CT scan results should be available by then and I guess they'll let me know what comes next.
Oh yeah, San Francisco was fun. My favorite part of the trip was the USC vs Cal game. It rained (and I mean poured, not sprinkled) the whole game, all 4 hours. Mind you, the day before, sunshine, the day after, sunshine. Everyone had ponchos that didn't prevent the rain from drenching them. Our USC foam victory fingers became sponge fingers that needed to be wrung out periodically because of the water. My paper pom poms succumbed before the end of the 1st quarter. Although I didn't drink, the mini keg before the game and the mini bottles of liquor Clay's family snuck into the stadium made them all forget about the rain at least until halftime. Clay took off the poncho during the 4th quarter to show off his jersey despite the rain. Afterwards, Clay and I joked over who would get pneumonia first (neither of us did). Overall, alot of fun and USC won so definitely worth sitting in the rain for.
My friend Bertha is coming to visit a month from now and I'm really excited. I'm hoping to have so much more energy and stamina by then. How fun!
"What patients want to hear is that the transplant will be a quick, painless, risk-free procedure. More importantly, they want assurance that it will cure their disease and provide them with many extra years of life. Unfortunately, no such assurances can be given. The patient can only be promised the chance of a future." - Autologous Stem Cell Transplants: A Handbook for Patients
So yesterday I received the results of my PET scan. It showed extreme improvement in all areas but there still appeared to be some activity in my chest. My regular doctor is out of town so another doctor gave me the results and he told me that maybe low dose radiation would be the next possible treatment. But he said it was something that would need to be discussed with my regular doctor. So....... I was........ I felt let down because I did want to be told, hey you're cured. But my mom and my dad seem oddly calm. It makes me wonder if they really aren't that worried or if they know that I'm on the brink of a meltdown so they're staying mellow for my sake. This doctor told me that they still needed the results of a CT scan I'm having done next Monday and he said that they actually relied more on those results than the PET. Apparently sometimes the PET shows activity that is unrelated to the cancer. So maybe there is still hope..............
I am being negative with the results, I just want to make that clear. Clay, my mom, and my dad seem optimistic. I think they think that if low dose radiation is all I need, then it's pretty much almost gone. I don't know why I'm not happy or at least glad that things are much better. I guess I just wanted to think it was over.
My next appointment will be after Thanksgiving with my regular doctor. The CT scan results should be available by then and I guess they'll let me know what comes next.
Oh yeah, San Francisco was fun. My favorite part of the trip was the USC vs Cal game. It rained (and I mean poured, not sprinkled) the whole game, all 4 hours. Mind you, the day before, sunshine, the day after, sunshine. Everyone had ponchos that didn't prevent the rain from drenching them. Our USC foam victory fingers became sponge fingers that needed to be wrung out periodically because of the water. My paper pom poms succumbed before the end of the 1st quarter. Although I didn't drink, the mini keg before the game and the mini bottles of liquor Clay's family snuck into the stadium made them all forget about the rain at least until halftime. Clay took off the poncho during the 4th quarter to show off his jersey despite the rain. Afterwards, Clay and I joked over who would get pneumonia first (neither of us did). Overall, alot of fun and USC won so definitely worth sitting in the rain for.
My friend Bertha is coming to visit a month from now and I'm really excited. I'm hoping to have so much more energy and stamina by then. How fun!
Monday, November 5, 2007
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock
When my hair fell out in early July, seeing the clumps of hair on my pillow, the clumps that would come out just from me running my hands through it, and the clumps that would come out in the shower would make me so sad. After about 3 days my head was so spotty, bald in some spots and then the clumps of hair in others. On the 4th day I told my mom to just cut it all off. I remember feeling so vulnerable, sitting in a chair in the dinning room/living room while my mom used a pair of scissors to cut my hair as close to my scalp as possible. But what made me feel better was when my brothers, Sergio and Eduardo, came into the room and joked about my bald head. Eduardo, who had recently shaved all his hair off, accused me of copying him (which made me smile) and Sergio compared me to Demi Moore in G.I. Jane. I was grateful that they didn't look at me with pity but instead made me smile. They stayed in the room the whole time and told me stories about what they had been up to recently (going to the Santa Fe Dam). It made me feel like my mom cutting off the rest of my hair was not unusual or abnormal. I thank them for that day, they helped make a difficult situation bearable.
Soooooooooo, tomorrow I have a PET scan scheduled at 2:15pm. I started freaking out at first and realized that I didn't want to be on that emotional roller coaster for the whole week that it'll take to get the results back. Clay and I leave to San Francisco on Wednesday morning and I just want to enjoy my trip. This last Saturday we went to the USC Campus Store (which was super crowded because it was a home game day) and bought pom poms, those foam fingers, and his and hers jerseys (we're so cute!). We're gonna watch USC vs Cal on Saturday. I have lots of little surprises for his birthday so I can't wait to give them to him. We get back on Sunday and I think the next day I have a CT scan early in the morning but I'm trying to change it, I just don't want to get up that early on a Monday(that and I'm not ready to face berry berry barium that early in the morning). Then Tuesday I have another doctor's appointment, where hopefully I should get the results of tomorrow's PET scan. Tomorrow I also have to pack and buy some last minute things before the trip. I should have done laundry today but I was too cold and lazy to do anything. Which reminds me, pack a jacket and gloves.
So before my transplants they gave me a handbook to read, Autologous Stem Cell Transplants: A Handbook for Patients. I'm reading it for the second time and now that I'm actually having side effects, it's very helpful. However, I don't think Clay appreciates me reading him paragraphs aloud.
My mami comes home tonight! She gets here really late but I'm so happy she's back. It's nice to have another woman in the house again, lol.
Ohhh, now everyone pray extra hard for tomorrow! Even I'm gonna call on the saints, the spirits, Mother Earth, Father Time, and I'll even try to meditate (which is hard for me, I can't relax). Ahhhhhhh.....................
Soooooooooo, tomorrow I have a PET scan scheduled at 2:15pm. I started freaking out at first and realized that I didn't want to be on that emotional roller coaster for the whole week that it'll take to get the results back. Clay and I leave to San Francisco on Wednesday morning and I just want to enjoy my trip. This last Saturday we went to the USC Campus Store (which was super crowded because it was a home game day) and bought pom poms, those foam fingers, and his and hers jerseys (we're so cute!). We're gonna watch USC vs Cal on Saturday. I have lots of little surprises for his birthday so I can't wait to give them to him. We get back on Sunday and I think the next day I have a CT scan early in the morning but I'm trying to change it, I just don't want to get up that early on a Monday(that and I'm not ready to face berry berry barium that early in the morning). Then Tuesday I have another doctor's appointment, where hopefully I should get the results of tomorrow's PET scan. Tomorrow I also have to pack and buy some last minute things before the trip. I should have done laundry today but I was too cold and lazy to do anything. Which reminds me, pack a jacket and gloves.
So before my transplants they gave me a handbook to read, Autologous Stem Cell Transplants: A Handbook for Patients. I'm reading it for the second time and now that I'm actually having side effects, it's very helpful. However, I don't think Clay appreciates me reading him paragraphs aloud.
My mami comes home tonight! She gets here really late but I'm so happy she's back. It's nice to have another woman in the house again, lol.
Ohhh, now everyone pray extra hard for tomorrow! Even I'm gonna call on the saints, the spirits, Mother Earth, Father Time, and I'll even try to meditate (which is hard for me, I can't relax). Ahhhhhhh.....................
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