Please Come Home

Halloween is almost here! I can't remember if the kids in my neighborhood trick or treat around here so I don't know if I should buy candy to give out. I don't want to be that house that doesn't give out candy. I'll just buy it, my brothers will eat it if I don't give it all away.

I remember the last Halloween party I went to, I dressed up as a trailer trashy housewife, lol. That was 2 years ago. I can't wait until I can dress up and go out for Halloween again.

So on Friday I went to City of Hope for a check up and when my dad and I were walking back to the car, this lady came up to me and said, "A year ago when I was where you are, someone in the parking lot hugged me and told me that in a year, everything would be much better. So don't think I'm weird, I just want to tell you the same thing. It will get better!" And then she hugged me! But before I could even say anything, she immediately walked away really quickly. It happened so fast, lol. I now call it, the Hug & Run, because she hugged me and ran. Weird but nice?

Well, it's time that I came clean about something I've been hiding. It started a few months ago, during my first transplant. I did it once and yeah I felt good but I didn't think I would do it again so soon. However, the opportunity came up again and again and I just couldn't stop myself. And I try to justify it but...... I need to finally admit that I have a problem. I am addicted. I am addicted to giving to charity. First it was $20 to St. Jude's Children's Hospital, and only because they sent me address labels and I felt bad not sending anything after they sent me something (which I use by the way). And I figured, hey it will help kids with cancer so why not? But they must have put me on some kind of list because then I got letters from an LA mission that feeds homeless people during the holidays, the World Wildlife Fund, and Habitat for Humanity. So my donations will feed 15 people Thanksgiving dinner ($24.60), 15 people Christmas dinner (another $24.60), and will provide a door for a Habitat for Humanity home ($50). I ran out of money by the time the World Wildlife Fund sent me a letter, so they got nothing :( . I know I know! Clay thinks I'm crazy to be giving when I myself receive help (I get state disability and I've gotten a grant from the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society). But I can't help it! People need to eat and live somewhere! By the way, I gave more to Habitat for Humanity because they sent me Christmas address labels. They always get me with the labels. I need help! Charities, stop sending me letters! I can't say no!

On another note, on Sunday I had breakfast with my high school Academic Decathlon coach. It was really great seeing her. She's married now with 2 kids and I'm just happy that she has her own little happy family. I always admired her and liked that she really challenged me to push myself always. We made plans again for this upcoming weekend.

My mom comes home in exactly one week! I have to say, I really missed her when she left because she did everything for me. Although my dad and my brothers have been helpful, they do not even come close to doing everything my mom did. Which means I had to do quite a few things on my own, which I didn't like at first but now realize that it's made me a little more active, which is good. I still can't wait for her to come home though.

Bad news: I think my cat ran away. Sometimes when she gets mad at us (when we try to bathe her or take her to the vet) she hides somewhere all day. So several days ago I couldn't find her and I figured maybe she was just hiding because I would put food out and hours later it would be gone. But two days later I still couldn't find her anywhere in the house. Diego thought he heard meowing under the house one night so he went under the house with a flashlight and still no cat. The problem is that if she got outside, our pit bull Snub probably scared her or chased her somewhere and now we can't find her. It's now been 4 days. I'm scared she's gone for good and I don't know what I should do. I love that damn cat and if she doesn't come back.......... I hated that I had to move her out of my room because I liked sleeping with her. I couldn't even pet her anymore. That doesn't mean I stopped loving her. I hope she's ok and that she turns up soon.............